It has come down to three people. Who will be crowned the king of Stargate nerd-dom for 2025? Kevan Ohtsji, Yu’s First Prime, “Oshu,” will join us as host in the most frenzied trivia yet.

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TRANSCRIPT
Find an error? Submit it here.

David Read:
[Welcome] everyone to Dial the Gate: The Stargate Oral History Project. My name is David Read. I appreciate you tuning in for Trivia 13, lucky 13, and we are privileged to have this one hosted by Mr. Kevan Ohtsji. Welcome back to Dial the Gate, sir. How are you?

Kevan Ohtsji:
Fantastic. Huge pleasure. Thank you again, David, and it was a wonderful time I had with yourself and Diana last time.

David Read:
Great. And Kevin Weaver, happy birthday, buddy.

Kevin Weaver:
Thank you.

David Read:
And Jakub Olejarz, hello, sir. How are you?

Jakub Olejarz:
Hello. I’m great. How are you? How’s everyone doing?

David Read:
I’m very good. Love your tree.

Jakub Olejarz:
Thank you.

David Read:
So, we are having this episode because of an error in the counting on the previous one, so we were like, “Let’s just do one more,” and what turned out happening was, as I began to think back over the course of the year, I usually try to get three in, but I generally can’t get three trivia in. We’ve been doing two. I think we accidentally set up a template for what we can do in the future, especially as the show goes back into production with Stargate 4. I think we’re gonna do three a year, and start off with a large group at the beginning of the year, cut that in half, and then around mid-summer do another trivia, and then later on in the year do the last folks that were standing, and make it more intense over the course of the season. So, that’s what we’re doing. And thank you, Kevan Ohtsji, for bringing this thing in here. So, let’s see here. Jeremy says, “I see chat messages from YouTube in the Zoom window.” I guess I’m not supposed to read that out loud. Hello. Yes. Sorry, guys, that’s my fault. Thank you. There we go. Awesome. That’s fixed. That was my bad. All right, you guys all set for this? Jakub and Kevin, you good? Kevin Weaver, you good?

Kevin Weaver:
Yes.

David Read:
All right. Kevan Ohtsji, you ready with the trivia questions?

Kevan Ohtsji:
You got it. I think so.

David Read:
All righty. Perfect. Let’s see what happens with this. And Yvie, you’re ready with upgrading the points, yes?

Yvie Cahill:
Yes, I am.

David Read:
And Jeremy, are you ready?

Yvie Cahill:
It’s just become a noise at this point.

David Read:
It never gets old. All righty, rock and roll. Jakub, I think we’re gonna start with Kevin, and then Jakub, and then me. So, let’s go ahead and do it that way. And you know what? While we’re at that, I’m gonna reorient us.

Jakub Olejarz:
Can I quickly add [something] in the meantime?

David Read:
Yes.

Jakub Olejarz:
Just want to say that the counting error last time was my fault. So, apologies for that, but also we get another chance today, so this is great.

David Read:
I think it works. I think it’s going to be perfect. So, I appreciate you acknowledging that, ’cause I mean, it wasn’t intentional, and I don’t think that Kevin takes it intentional. Do you, buddy?

Kevin Weaver:
No.

David Read:
There we go. All right. Let’s have a good time and– Why is Jakub’s number empty now? Hang on a second here. Yvie, did you change positions on stuff?

Yvie Cahill:
No, I haven’t touched anything.

David Read:
That’s really weird. C5. Hang on a second, guys. Let me fix something.

Yvie Cahill:
I can’t be trusted with Excel, so I haven’t touched anything.

David Read:
Two, three, four.

Kevan Ohtsji:
Powerful program.

David Read:
It can be too.

Yvie Cahill:
It’s beyond my level of understanding.

Kevan Ohtsji:
Me too.

David Read:
C2, C3. There. OK. I don’t know what that was, but–

Yvie Cahill:
Sorry, David. To clarify, I need to update the scores in the far left corner?

David Read:
C2, C3, and C4. Yeah?

Yvie Cahill:
OK.

David Read:
So, as they evolve here. And then E2, E3, and E4 will change position if any of us gets ahead. With three people, we can easily see who’s current– Ready to rock and roll?

Yvie Cahill:
Are you guys ready to rock and roll? You’re the ones answering the questions.

David Read:
All righty. Let’s do this. Kevan Ohtsji, we are in your very capable hands, sir. So, the first one is to Jakub.

Kevan Ohtsji:
Fantastic. No pressure, everyone.

David Read:
That’s it.

Kevan Ohtsji:
Good luck. Have fun.

David Read:
10 seconds on the clock when Kevan finishes. All right.

Kevan Ohtsji:
Here we go.

Jakub Olejarz:
Ready to go?

David Read:
These are episode names based on synopses, or the one-liners. Whatever they’re called.

Jakub Olejarz:
I’m ready whenever you are.

David Read:
All right, guys.

Kevan Ohtsji:
OK. We’ll jump right in. SG-1 arrives on a planet where a culturally medieval Catholic community lives in fear of an Unas.

Jakub Olejarz:
“Demons.”

David Read:
Jakub. Then Kevan, you say, “OK, now it’s Kevin.” It’s gonna be Jakub, Kevin, David. Keep that in mind, Kevan O.

Kevan Ohtsji:
Jakub, it’s on you. Here we go.

David Read:
Kevan, it’s now Kevin’s turn.

Kevan Ohtsji:
Sorry, Kevin.

David Read:
We’ll get into the rhythm of it.

Kevan Ohtsji:
Here we go. Shh. I’ll get it. The team discovers an ancient drilling station deep beneath the surface of the ocean only to find that a Wraith queen is still alive there.

Kevin Weaver:
Underwater?

Kevan Ohtsji:
Shall I give the answer?

David Read:
Go ahead.

Kevan Ohtsji:
“Submersion.”

David Read:
“Submersion.” Yep.

Kevan Ohtsji:
Same meaning, different name, yep.

David Read:
Exactly. It is underwater though.

Kevan Ohtsji:
David, for you. Sheppard and his team are lured to a planet and are soon put on trial for crimes against the people of the Pegasus Galaxy.

David Read:
It is on trial … the trial. I can’t think of the name. What is it?

Kevan Ohtsji:
“Inquisition.”

David Read:
“Inquisition.” It was supposed to be called Judgment. It was originally the Asgard putting Earth on trial for destroying the Aschen. That’s why it can never stick with me. OK, thank you.

Kevan Ohtsji:
All good. Jakub, on you.

David Read:
Not starting off good.

Kevan Ohtsji:
Here we go. The Atlantis team uncovers the last survivors of a civilization who have been placed in suspended animation aboard a space station.

Jakub Olejarz:
“Aurora.”

David Read:
That’s “The Ark.”

Kevan Ohtsji:
Starts with an A. Correct.

David Read:
Wow. I’m glad how we’re all killing ourselves, killing it. I feel better.

Kevan Ohtsji:
Need to get one though.

David Read:
I think that’s the one with the Snickers in it.

David Read:
Yes, The Ark is the one with the Snickers.

Kevan Ohtsji:
Kevin.

David Read:
You got it.

Kevan Ohtsji:
While SG-1 tries to form an alliance with the Tok’ra, a spy betrays the rebels to the Goa’uld. Jacob Carter finds that the Tok’ra may be his only hope of survival.

David Read:
“The Tok’ra.”

David Read:
Part Two, but yes, I’ll take it.

Kevan Ohtsji:
Perfect.

David Read:
Yes, we’ll do the part… It’s fine. Yep. We’re not specific on the parts. Very good. Me.

Kevan Ohtsji:
Jakub.

David Read:
Me.

Kevan Ohtsji:
David. Sorry. After gating to a world on the edge of a black hole, the SGC cannot disengage the Stargate, threatening all of Earth with a time-distorting gravity field.

David Read:
“A Matter of Time.”

Kevan Ohtsji:
Bingo. Moving along.

David Read:
Yes, sir.

Kevan Ohtsji:
SG-1 discovers the mystical planet Kheb and must find the Harcesis, the child of Apophis and Sha’re before Apophis’ army does.

Jakub Olejarz:
“Maternal Instinct.”

Kevan Ohtsji:
Bingo. You guys are rock and rolling now.

David Read:
Now. We figured it out. OK.

Yvie Cahill:
Sly starters.

Kevan Ohtsji:
All right. Kevin. During their quest for the Sangraal, SG-1 must join forces with their enemy and face a real-life dragon.

Kevin Weaver:
“The Quest.”

David Read:
Terrible visual effects.

Kevan Ohtsji:
“Quest Part One,” but I think we’re all–

David Read:
Parts are … That’s good.

Kevan Ohtsji:
OK. All good. Fantastic. Here we go. An ancient communications device renders Daniel and Vala unconscious, sending their minds to another galaxy, where they inhabit the bodies of two people living in a medieval society.

David Read:
“Avalon.” Part Two.

Kevan Ohtsji:
Bingo. You got a Part Two, that’s extra bonus points I think. I don’t know. Very good.

David Read:
No, no. If Nicole were here, she would insist.

Yvie Cahill:
Know all these.

David Read:
That’s it.

Kevan Ohtsji:
All righty. Here we go. Relations between the US and Russia are strained when Russian military leaders claim that the US government has been compromised by the Goa’uld.

Jakub Olejarz:
“Full Alert.”

Kevan Ohtsji:
Bingo.

David Read:
That’s it.

Kevan Ohtsji:
Moving right along. Colonel Young sees a recurring vision of Destiny being attacked and destroyed by hostile aliens, causing him to fear he is losing his mind.

David Read:
Come on, Kev.

Kevin Weaver:
I know the episode, I just can’t remember the name.

David Read:
That’s been 10 seconds. Did we hear the ding, the buzzer? We didn’t get the buzzer. Jeremy?

Jeremy Heiner:
I did the buzzer.

David Read:
It didn’t come through. It was trial and error.

Jeremy Heiner:
Did you hear it that time?

David Read:
Yeah, we did.

Kevan Ohtsji:
Heard it the second time.

Jeremy Heiner:
Weird.

Kevan Ohtsji:
And correct, trial and error.

David Read:
Sometimes it just does it. All right, my turn.

Kevan Ohtsji:
OK, David. The team discovers a planet where the Stargate is kept on a prison island to keep the Wraith satisfied.

David Read:
It’s Season Two of Atlantis. What is it, guys?

Jakub Olejarz:
“Condemned.”

David Read:
The “Condemned.” OK.

Kevan Ohtsji:
Yes, you got it.

David Read:
All right.

Kevan Ohtsji:
OK. SG-1 traveled to a planet where Teal’c is recognized as Apophis’ former First Prime. He is arrested for the murder of a villager and put on trial.

David Read:
That’s a great episode called “Cor-ai.”

Kevan Ohtsji:
Got it. Perfect.

Jakub Olejarz:
Is that “Cor-ai?”

David Read:
That’s it, “Cor-ai.”

Kevan Ohtsji:
“Cor-ai.” Awesome. Kevin. Samantha Carter returns to Stargate Command when the Ori seize control of a planet using an expanding force field in an attempt to gain a foothold in our galaxy.

Kevin Weaver:
“Beachhead.”

Kevan Ohtsji:
Bingo.

David Read:
He’s got it.

Kevan Ohtsji:
David.

David Read:
Yes.

Kevan Ohtsji:
When Dr. McKay is trapped underwater in a sinking puddle jumper, his only chance for survival may be a hallucination of Samantha Carter.

David Read:
“Grace Under Pressure.”

Kevan Ohtsji:
Jakub. Rush uses the neural interface chair to try and access Destiny’s systems, causing him to recall the events which led to his recruitment into the Stargate Program.

Kevin Weaver:
“Human.”

Kevan Ohtsji:
Got it. Damn, you guys are great.

David Read:
Jakub is on point. All right.

Kevan Ohtsji:
Kevin. The team discovers a crystalline alien species with the capability of assuming human form. O’Neill comes to terms with the death of his son.

Kevin Weaver:
“Cold Lazarus.”

David Read:
We need clarification there.

Kevan Ohtsji:
David.

David Read:
Yes, sir.

Kevan Ohtsji:
Cassandra mysteriously falls ill, sending SG-1 back to her home planet where they uncover a dark Goa’uld secret.

David Read:
“Rite of Passage.”

Kevan Ohtsji:
You got it. Damn. Jakub. SG-1 tries to defend a planet from the Ori by hiding its people in another dimension.

Jakub Olejarz:
“Line in the Sand.”

Kevan Ohtsji:
You got it. Holy moley, you guys are awesome. Kevin.

David Read:
We’re fans.

Kevan Ohtsji:
Kevin. The team tries to turn a Wraith into a human using Dr. Beckett’s vaccine.

Kevin Weaver:
“Michael.”

Kevan Ohtsji:
Wow.

David Read:
You can literally see the light bulb go off over his head.

Kevan Ohtsji:
David. Sorry, let me go back. Dr. Keller wakes to find her consciousness inside the body of a notorious thief who has been sentenced to death for her crimes.

David Read:
I think that’s “Identity.”

Kevan Ohtsji:
You got it. Jakub. The inhabitants of Atlantis begin to suffer ill effects when the planet’s whale population begins migrating to the island city, bringing an unexpected harbinger of doom.

Jakub Olejarz:
“Echoes.”

Kevan Ohtsji:
Yes. Kevin. Plagued by terrifying nightmares, Teyla begins to recall a time when she and her father were captured by the Wraith and subjected to disturbing experiments.

Kevin Weaver:
Nightmares?

Kevan Ohtsji:
“The Gift” …

David Read:
“The Gift.”

Kevan Ohtsji:
… that keeps on giving.

David Read:
“You have some Wraith DNA in ya.”

Kevan Ohtsji:
All good. David.

David Read:
Yes, sir.

Kevan Ohtsji:
Sheppard and the team visit a place where no one seems to reach the age of 24.

David Read:
“Childhood’s End.”

Kevan Ohtsji:
You got it.

David Read:
Martin Gero’s first episode.

Kevan Ohtsji:
Jakub. O’Neill and Teal’c risk their lives to keep the Replicator bugs from gaining a foothold on Earth, while Carter helps the Asgard fend off a Replicator invasion.

Jakub Olejarz:
“Small Victories.”

Kevan Ohtsji:
You got it.

David Read:
Damn.

Kevan Ohtsji:
Kev. Jackson discovers that his wife has returned to Abydos and is about to give birth to Apophis’s son.

Kevin Weaver:
“Secrets.”

Kevan Ohtsji:
Bingo. David. How do you guys do it so fast? It’s amazing.

David Read:
Because we’re very pathetic.

Kevan Ohtsji:
I can tell.

Kevin Weaver:
We only have 10 seconds.

David Read:
Just wait. Kevin, just wait until we start talking over you as this goes on. Because we’re being courteous right now.

Kevan Ohtsji:
Being polite, OK. All good, all right.

Kevan Ohtsji:
OK, David. Stricken with amnesia and on the run, Vala takes a job as a waitress as she tries to piece together who she is and what happened to her.

David Read:
Whose question is this? Is this mine?

Kevan Ohtsji:
I believe so.

David Read:
Is this mine?

Yvie Cahill:
I think it’s yours, David.

Kevan Ohtsji:
Did I skip Kev?

David Read:
No, I lost track. No, it’s fine, I lost the point.

Kevan Ohtsji:
No.

David Read:
Can you give me another one, please?

Kevan Ohtsji:
Yeah, absolutely.

David Read:
Sorry.

Kevan Ohtsji:
OK. A young boy travels through the Stargate and warns of a plot by invisible aliens to kill all of the human race in order to rob the Goa’uld of potential hosts.

David Read:
“Show And Tell.”

Kevan Ohtsji:
Yes. Jakub. After another fruitless search for the missing Teyla, Sheppard returns to Atlantis only to find it deserted with sand dunes as far as the eye can see.

Jakub Olejarz:
“The Last Man.”

Kevan Ohtsji:
You got it. Kevin. O’Neill and Lieutenant Tyler are ambushed by Goa’uld forces and trapped behind enemy lines while the rest of their team discover they don’t know who Tyler is.

Kevin Weaver:
“The Fifth Man.”

Kevan Ohtsji:
Yes. David.

David Read:
Hang on just a second. Has Jakub missed any? I don’t think so.

Kevin Weaver:
As in did I get any wrong?

David Read:
Yeah.

Jakub Olejarz:
One.

David Read:
You got one wrong?

Yvie Cahill:
Yes.

David Read:
And Kevin’s had two wrong, and he has nine along with Jakub. So that’s not possible.

Yvie Cahill:
Sorry, that scoring is not accurate, so it should be you, seven, Jakub, nine, Kevin, seven.

David Read:
Where’s Jakub? Nine?

Yvie Cahill:
I’m updating it on the left-hand side of the Excel spreadsheet.

David Read:
C3.

Yvie Cahill:
I noticed that a few minutes ago.

David Read:
There it is.

Yvie Cahill:
The math is not mathing on the right-hand side of the Excel spreadsheet.

David Read:
It’s not. Yvie, the numbers are changing in the O column. I don’t know how, but they are.

Yvie Cahill:
Yes. I haven’t touched them.

David Read:
All right, I believe you. OK, Kevin is C4.

Jeremy Heiner:
Both Kevin and Jakub are set as C3.

David Read:
But they weren’t the last time I checked. I’ve fixed that. I’m gonna have a look now. All right.

Yvie Cahill:
OK. I am keeping a physical, old-school tally with a pen and paper just in case.

David Read:
OK. That is so weird. All right. I apologize. OK, this one is mine now. All right.

Kevan Ohtsji:
Yes. Kevin was last with “The Fifth Man” and this is on you, David?

David Read:
Yes.

Kevan Ohtsji:
McKay puts the team at risk when he tries to perfect unfinished Ancient technology that wiped out a civilization.

David Read:
“Trinity.”

Kevan Ohtsji:
Yes. Jakub. The SG-1 team attempt to rescue Teal’c’s son, who has been kidnapped and brainwashed by Apophis.

Jakub Olejarz:
“Secrets.” “Family,” is it?

Kevan Ohtsji:
“Family.”

David Read:
Yes, “Family!” Ah.

Kevin Weaver:
I always get those two confused.

Jakub Olejarz:
Same here.

David Read:
I get “Family” and “Bloodlines” confused. He’s human just like the rest of us, ladies and gentlemen.

Kevan Ohtsji:
All right, Kevin, onto you. As Destiny’s crew continues to battle Lucian Alliance soldiers over control of the ship, TJ finds herself and her baby transported to a safe place.

Kevin Weaver:
“Allegiance?”

Kevan Ohtsji:
“Intervention.”

Kevan Ohtsji:
David, onto you. The team fights to retake control of Atlantis when Michael infiltrates the control room to take Teyla’s child and destroy the city.

David Read:
“The Prodigal.”

Kevan Ohtsji:
Yes. Jakub. Colonel O’Neill and Captain Carter are separated from Jackson and Teal’c during a Stargate journey, and are trapped on a desolate ice world with no way of escape.

Jakub Olejarz:
“Solitudes.”

Kevan Ohtsji:
Yes. Kevin. When a terrorist attack decimates a Jaffa summit, Teal’c strikes out on a quest for revenge, believing that the perpetrator is one of his own people.

Kevin Weaver:
“Talion?”

Kevan Ohtsji:
Yes. David. Destiny is attacked by drone ships while attempting to recharge its power reserves, forcing most of the crew to gate to a nearby planet, while Eli tries a risky alternative.

David Read:
It’s not “Gauntlet,” it’s… Damn it. I know the episode. Next, second-to-last episode of the show. What is it?

Kevan Ohtsji:
“Blockade.”

David Read:
“Blockade!” Ah! All right. Very good.

Kevan Ohtsji:
Jakub. Returning the settlers to their home planet, Novus, the Destiny crew discover the planet has been abandoned and on the verge of seismic destruction.

Jakub Olejarz:
“Epilogue?”

Kevan Ohtsji:
Yes. Good stuff. Kevin. SG-1 must stop Apophis’ invasion force before it reaches Earth and escape with their lives.

Kevin Weaver:
“The Serpent’s Lair”

Kevan Ohtsji:
Yes. David. SG-1 must find a renegade Goa’uld who has been hiding on Earth for thousands of years.

David Read:
“Seth.”

Kevan Ohtsji:
Yes. Jakub. Sheppard, who evades capture from Kolya, tries to take back Atlantis while the storm is zeroing in on the city.

Jakub Olejarz:
“The Eye.”

Kevan Ohtsji:
Yes. Kevin. Jack, Sam, and Daniel are imprisoned on a planet, and become pawns in a war of ideology, while Teal’c must rely on the kindness of a local man after being badly injured.

Kevin Weaver:
“New Ground.”

Kevan Ohtsji:
You got it. Wow. David. Members of SG-1 become infected with an alien virus that turns them into primitive beings.

David Read:
“The Broca Divide.”

Kevan Ohtsji:
Yes. Jakub. SG-1 must turn to a pair of convicted criminals to save a world from annihilation by the Goa’uld.

Jakub Olejarz:
“The Sentinel.”

Kevan Ohtsji:
Yes. Kevin. The team finds a paradise world that would make an ideal sanctuary for those fleeing from the Wraith, but the local inhabitants believe their goddess will not permit it.

Kevin Weaver:
“Sanctuary?”

Kevan Ohtsji:
Yes. David. A run-in with a Wraith dart leaves the consciousness of a precocious Atlantis security officer trapped in Dr. McKay’s mind.

David Read:
“Duet.”

Kevan Ohtsji:
You got it. Jakub. A teenage boy shows up at the SGC claiming to be Jack O’Neill.

Jakub Olejarz:
“Fragile Balance.”

Kevan Ohtsji:
Yes.

David Read:
It’s a blank stare there for a second there. He’s like, “What?”

Jakub Olejarz:
It was a short question.

David Read:
This can’t be a repeat of “Show and Tell.” No, ’cause that’s a teenage boy, OK.

Kevan Ohtsji:
Kevin, SG-1 boards an abandoned Goa’uld mothership that has mysteriously arrived in Earth’s orbit, and must escape the doomed vessel when it crashes into the ocean.

David Read:
“Descent,” good title.

Kevan Ohtsji:
Yes. Okey-dokey. Next up, Dr. Weir–

Jakub Olejarz:
Sorry, is it David …

Kevan Ohtsji:
Yeah.

Jakub Olejarz:
… or me?

David Read:
It’s me. I don’t take the point.

Kevan Ohtsji:
Dr. Weir wakes up in a psychiatric hospital on Earth, where she’s told the Stargate program and Atlantis were delusions.

David Read:
OK, it’s… Gosh sakes. What is it, guys?

Jakub Olejarz:
“The Real World?”

David Read:
“The Real World,” that’s it.

Kevan Ohtsji:
That’s it. OK. Jakub, SG-1 visits Atlantis in the hopes of preventing the Ori from sending more ships through the Supergate, and to find the–

Jakub Olejarz:
Sorry. Finish.

Kevan Ohtsji:
You can answer if you like, or–

David Read:
Go ahead, Jakub, what is it?

Jakub Olejarz:
“The Pegasus Project.”

Kevan Ohtsji:
You got it.

David Read:
That’s it. There you go. When you know, you know.

Kevan Ohtsji:
Kevin. After a Wraith Hive ship shows up over Atlantis transmitting a distress call, Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard’s team discovers that its crew has been stricken with a disease they helped to create.

David Read:
It’s “Infection,” I think.

Kevan Ohtsji:
You are correct.

David Read:
They should start giving me Kevin’s questions. Kevin can take mine. Then we’ll be peachy keen. All right.

Kevan Ohtsji:
All right, David. In a firefight with Jaffa, Teal’c takes a staff blast to the gut. Without a symbiote, he cannot regenerate as he once did.

David Read:
So, this is Erebus. This is in Season Seven. This is … This name … Come on, man. What is it?

Kevan Ohtsji:
Or…

David Read:
“Orpheus.” God, I suck. All right.

Kevan Ohtsji:
No. Jakub, during a rare day off, a mysterious explosion rocks Atlantis, resulting in a tragic loss for the expedition.

David Read:
“Sunday.”

Kevan Ohtsji:
Yes. Kevin, the crew experiences terrifying hallucinations and paranoia after being infected by alien tick-like creatures on a jungle planet.

Kevin Weaver:
“Time?”

Kevan Ohtsji:
What did you say?

David Read:
“Pain.”

Kevin Weaver:
What was it?

Kevan Ohtsji:
It was “Pain.” SGU. Good episode. Hard to watch, for me.

Kevan Ohtsji:
David.

David Read:
Yes sir.

Kevan Ohtsji:
SG-1 encounters a young woman who was artificially created with human and Goa’uld DNA as part of a rogue NID experiment.

David Read:
That was Anna, that was the Goa’uld episode before “Lost City,” and Michael Shanks wrote it. Shit. What is it?

Kevin Weaver:
Is that “Resurrection?”

David Read:
“Resurrection.”

Kevan Ohtsji:
That is correct.

David Read:
Jeez. What the heck?

Kevan Ohtsji:
The three of you on one team would be a total dream team. No one could stop you. It’s amazing.

David Read:
All right, Jakub, man, keep pulling ahead, buddy.

Kevan Ohtsji:
All right, Jakub, this one’s for you. SG-1 visits a Goa’uld pleasure palace where team members become addicted to a device that causes euphoria followed–

Jakub Olejarz:
“The Light.”

Kevan Ohtsji:
Yes, correct. Kevin, an alien intelligence invades the SGC’s computer systems and transfers itself into Major Carter’s mind to survive.

Kevin Weaver:
“Entity.”

Kevan Ohtsji:
You got it. David, SG-1 discovers Daniel Jackson living among nomads on an alien world with no memory of his ascended existence.

David Read:
“Fallen.”

Kevan Ohtsji:
Yes. Jakub, a mysterious drone crashes into Atlantis, indicating that the replicates–

David Read:
“This Mortail Coil.”

Kevan Ohtsji:
Yeah. Amazing. Kevin, Daniel becomes increasingly paranoid and unstable after being exposed to a Goa’uld killing device left behind by Ma’chello.

Kevin Weaver:
“Legacy.”

Kevan Ohtsji:
Yes.

Kevan Ohtsji:
David, two consciousnesses from a war-torn civilization possess Weir and Sheppard, using them to continue their ancient conflict.

David Read:
“The Long Goodbye.”

Kevan Ohtsji:
Jakub, SG-1’s investigation into a stolen weather control device–

Jakub Olejarz:
“Touchstone.”

Kevan Ohtsji:
Yes. Kevin. A deadly nano-virus outbreak in Atlantis causes victims to see horrifying hallucinations before dying from brain aneurysms.

Kevin Weaver:
“Hot Zone.”

Kevan Ohtsji:
Yes. David. Prometheus is forced to land on an alien world whose inhabitants have forgotten their stargate exists, believing it to be only a myth.

David Read:
It’s not “Icon.” It’s another word for–

Kevin Weaver:
“Memento.”

David Read:
“Memento.” That’s it.

Kevan Ohtsji:
That is correct. Jakub, Daniel must negotiate between the SGC and a tribe of Unas when a mining operation threatens to spark–

Jakub Olejarz:
“Enemy Mine.”

Kevan Ohtsji:
Yes, indeed. You got it. Kevin. O’Neill and Teal’c experience the same day repeatedly after an alien archeologist activates an ancient time device.

Kevin Weaver:
“Window of Opportunity.”

Kevan Ohtsji:
Yes.

Kevan Ohtsji:
Bing. David. Teal’c becomes trapped in a virtual reality training simulation that adapts to defeat him every time he plays.

David Read:
We just watched this.

Yvie Cahill:
Yes, we did.

Jakub Olejarz:
To me?

David Read:
What’s going on with my brain?

Kevan Ohtsji:
David.

David Read:
I can’t think of it right now.

Kevin Weaver:
“Avatar.”

Kevan Ohtsji:
Yes.

David Read:
They’re not coming to me today, guys. I don’t know what’s wrong. They’re not.

Kevan Ohtsji:
Coffee. Coffee’s your friend.

David Read:
I haven’t drank caffeine in a year. But thank you, though. Jakub.

Jakub Olejarz:
Sorry, I thought it was me last– OK, you go ahead.

Kevan Ohtsji:
OK, Jakub. This is for you. When the Ori attack the Jaffa stronghold of Chulak, Valla and Daniel confront their leader, Vala’s daughter, artificially aged to adulthood by the Ori to lead their crusade.

Jakub Olejarz:
“Flesh and Blood.”

Kevan Ohtsji:
Yes. Kevin. Sheppard and McKay must protect a teenage princess during her coming-of-age journey.

Kevin Weaver:
“Harmony.”

Kevan Ohtsji:
Yes. You got it. David. While searching for a legendary tribe of Free Jaffa, Colonel Mitchell is injured by one of their warriors and must learn their fighting techniques to survive a ritual combat to the death.

David Read:
“Babylon.”

Kevan Ohtsji:
Yes. Good stuff.

Kevan Ohtsji:
Jakub. With the help of General O’Neill and Woolsey, the Atlantis team launches a daring assault to retake their city from Replicator control.

Jakub Olejarz:
It’s “The Return,” Part Two.

Kevan Ohtsji:
Yeah. You got Part Two. Amazing.

David Read:
He’s good.

Kevan Ohtsji:
Kevin. McKay’s intelligence rapidly deteriorates due to a parasite, leading the team to take him to an ancient shrine on a dangerous planet.

Kevin Weaver:
“The Shrine.”

Kevan Ohtsji:
Yes. David. Teal’c reunites with his former love, Shan’auc, who claims to have taught her symbiote to despise the Goa’uld.

David Read:
“Crossroads.”

Kevan Ohtsji:
Yes.

David Read:
Good show.

Kevan Ohtsji:
Jakub. The battle for control of Destiny intensifies, as Young uses dangerous tactics to defeat the Lucian Alliance invaders.

Jakub Olejarz:
Is it “Incursion, Part Two?”

Kevan Ohtsji:
Yeah. Perfect.

David Read:
Talking about threading the friggin’ needle. Damn.

Kevan Ohtsji:
Part Two, dang. Kevin, your question. Vala’s con artist father arrives at the SGC claiming to have valuable intelligence about Arkad’s planned attacks on Earth.

Kevin Weaver:
“Family Ties.”

Kevan Ohtsji:
Yes.

David Read:
That’s right. Can we pause for just a second? Yvie, you’ve done a great job organizing these, I must say. These are really good.

Yvie Cahill:
Have I?

David Read:
The battle intensifies. That was the clue that Jakub needed to get “Incursion” correct.

Yvie Cahill:
Thanks for that.

David Read:
That was really good.

Kevan Ohtsji:
Fantastic, Jeremy, with the bings.

David Read:
He has a great timing. You’re well done, Jeremy.

Yvie Cahill:
Can I say, the questions are being perfectly stated by Kevan.

David Read:
He’s doing a great job. You are, sir.

Kevan Ohtsji:
Thank you, sir. And this next question is for you, David. A barber — It’s on you, David.

David Read:
“Citizen Joe.”

Kevan Ohtsji:
A barber–

David Read:
Citizen Joe.

Kevan Ohtsji:
My god. I didn’t even– You’re right. Holy crap.

David Read:
That’s all I needed. A barber.

Kevan Ohtsji:
Who needs coffee these days? Come on. My goodness. Jakub, your question. The Wraith arrive in a village where Dr. Beckett is working, and demand that the locals turn over a group of refugees who survived the Hoffan plague, or the entire village will be obliterated.

Jakub Olejarz:
“Outsiders?”

Kevan Ohtsji:
Yes.

David Read:
You got it.

Kevan Ohtsji:
Wow. Kevin. The final battle against the Replicators and the Goa’uld reaches its climax as the fate of the galaxy hangs in the balance.

Kevin Weaver:
“Threads.”

Kevan Ohtsji:
Anyone else? Anyone?

David Read:
It’s “Reckoning.”

Jakub Olejarz:
“Reckoning.”

Kevan Ohtsji:
“The Reckoning, Part Two.” Excellent. David. Dr. Felger creates a computer virus intended–

David Read:
“Avengers 2.0.”

Kevan Ohtsji:
You got it. Jakub, Major Kawalsky is possessed by a Goa’uld and–

Jakub Olejarz:
“The Enemy Within.”

Kevan Ohtsji:
You got it.

David Read:
There we go.

Kevan Ohtsji:
Kev, O’Neill wakes up in the future, discovering that he has been frozen for 79 years and that the SG-1 are long dead.

Kevin Weaver:
“Out of Mind.”

Kevan Ohtsji:
Yes. You guys are on a roll. David, while the Goa’uld threaten to attack Earth, SG-1 and the Asgard make a last desperate stand against the replicators, which have captured Major Carter and invaded the last outpost of the Asgard civilization.

David Read:
Last outpost the Asgards have– “Small Victories?” Which one was it?

Kevan Ohtsji:
“New Order.”

David Read:
“New Order.” That was a confusing summary. I was all over the place in my brain. OK. All right.

Kevan Ohtsji:
Jakub, Ronon is reunited with fellow Satedans from his old military unit, but their plans for revenge may cost him his place on Atlantis.

Jakub Olejarz:
“Reunion.”

Kevan Ohtsji:
Yes, yes, yes.

David Read:
Let me say, he has no problem remembering episode names, he has a problem with episode pronunciations. That is true.

Kevan Ohtsji:
All good.

David Read:
A issue that he has.

Kevan Ohtsji:
It was like, “Where did that–”

David Read:
He’s got it in there.

Jakub Olejarz:
There is one I’m absolutely dreading. I’ll tell you later if it doesn’t come up.

Kevan Ohtsji:
Kevin, your question. SG-1 hatches an elaborate plan to try and capture Adria using Vala as bait.

Kevin Weaver:
“Memento Mori?”

Kevan Ohtsji:
Anyone?

David Read:
That was the one I was given earlier, and I’m not recalling this one right now. Jakub? What is that one, Jakub? They’re using the Galaran memory technology.

Jakub Olejarz:
“Dominion.”

David Read:
“Dominion.” That’s it. Baal gets placed inside of Adria.

Jakub Olejarz:
That was difficult.

Kevan Ohtsji:
David, this is yours, I believe.

David Read:
Yes.

Kevan Ohtsji:
OK, David, O’Neill is captured and tortured by the Goa’uld System Lord Baal and must–

David Read:
“Abyss.”

Kevan Ohtsji:
You got it. Jakub, McKay’s efforts to harness the energy of an alien planet’s atmosphere allows for a return trip to Earth, but the team may not be able to return to Atlantis.

Jakub Olejarz:
“Home?”

Kevan Ohtsji:
Yes. Good stuff.

David Read:
Allows for a return trip to Earth. Yep, all right.

Kevan Ohtsji:
Kevin. Carter must access the memories of the Tok’ra Jolinar to help rescue her father from the prison moon of Netu.

Kevin Weaver:
“Jolinar’s Memories.”

Kevan Ohtsji:
Yes.

David Read:
Man, talk about being handed in on a plate. It’s all in there.

Kevan Ohtsji:
David, your question. The team finds a fugitive colony of Jaffa women who must prey on other Jaffa to acquire symbiotes.

David Read:
That is “Birthright.”

Kevan Ohtsji:
You got it. Good stuff. Jakub, SG-1 must stop Carter’s former fiancé who has set himself up as a god on a primitive planet.

Jakub Olejarz:
“The First Commandment.”

Kevan Ohtsji:
Yes.

David Read:
Stargate: Apocalypse Now.

Kevan Ohtsji:
Kevin, your question. O’Neill is arrested for the assassination of Senator Kinsey.

Kevin Weaver:
“Smoke and Mirrors.”

Kevan Ohtsji:
Yes.

David Read:
Good.

Kevan Ohtsji:
Good stuff.

Kevan Ohtsji:
Teal’c visits Atlantis to counsel a headstrong Ronon who is up for review by the IOA.

David Read:
“Midway.”

Kevan Ohtsji:
Yep. Amazing. Jakub, Teyla goes undercover as a Wraith queen when Todd agrees to–

Jakub Olejarz:
“The Queen.”

Kevan Ohtsji:
Yes, you got it. Rock and rolling, you guys. Kevin, your question. The Ori unleash a devastating plague on Earth, prompting an ally from SG-1’s past to come to their aid.

Kevin Weaver:
“Fourth Horseman.”

Kevan Ohtsji:
Yes. Good stuff. David, with his mind failing under the weight of the ancient knowledge, O’Neill leads the team to Earth’s last hope against Anubis.

David Read:
“Lost City.”

Kevan Ohtsji:
Yes.

David Read:
I almost said “The Fifth Race.”

Kevan Ohtsji:
All right. Jakub, Skaara/Klorel stands trial on Tollana because–

Jakub Olejarz:
“Pretense.”

Kevan Ohtsji:
Yeah. Good stuff.

David Read:
Good episode.

Kevan Ohtsji:
Kevin, SG-1’s memories are erased, and they’re forced to work as laborers in an underground alien–

Kevin Weaver:
“Beneath the Surface.”

Kevan Ohtsji:
Yes. David, the Tok’ra send Daniel Jackson to a secret meeting between the System Lords–

David Read:
“Summit.”

Kevan Ohtsji:
Yeah.

David Read:
For a long time [it] was my favorite episode.

Kevan Ohtsji:
Jakub, with a Wraith armada approaching, the Atlantis expedition records personal messages–

Jakub Olejarz:
“Letters from Pegasus.”

Kevan Ohtsji:
Yes. Kevin, SG-1 must investigate when evidence suggests that there are still Goa’uld hiding on Earth, including a former System Lord.

Kevin Weaver:
“Deus Ex Machina?”

Kevan Ohtsji:
Yeah, wow.

David Read:
“Ex Deus Machina,” but yeah.

Kevan Ohtsji:
David.

David Read:
Yes, sir.

Kevan Ohtsji:
Baal kidnaps Teal’c as part of a plot to brainwash those Jaffa advocating a move toward democracy. Cameron Mitchell learns that an old friend is about to die.

Kevin Weaver:
“Stronghold.”

David Read:
Stronghold. Yes. Crap.

Kevan Ohtsji:
Jakub. SG-1 returns to Cimmeria after the Goa’uld invade the planet they left defenseless by destroying their important defense system.

Jakub Olejarz:
“Thor’s Chariot.”

Kevan Ohtsji:
Yes. Good stuff. Kevin. O’Neill downloads another ancient repository of knowledge into his mind to prevent Anubis from obtaining its secrets.

Kevin Weaver:
“Lost City?”

Kevan Ohtsji:
Yes.

David Read:
I had Part Two, OK.

Kevan Ohtsji:
David. Rodney McKay goes in search of his sister on Earth after she is kidnapped by the head of a powerful corporation.

David Read:
“Miller’s Crossing.”

Kevan Ohtsji:
Yes, indeed. You got it. Jakub. A solar flare sends SG-1 back in time, where they must find a way home.

Jakub Olejarz:
“1969.”

Kevan Ohtsji:
You got it. Kevin. Sheppard’s team meets an obnoxious man who is adored by all.

Kevin Weaver:
“Irresistible.”

Kevan Ohtsji:
You got it. Good stuff.

David Read:
Well done.

Kevan Ohtsji:
David. As the team prepares for a monumental trip through the gate, they consult on a movie script based on the real Stargate Program.

David Read:
“200.”

Kevan Ohtsji:
Nice. Jakub. Atlantis is stranded in space with failing power after their hyperspace jump goes wrong, forcing desperate measures to survive.

Jakub Olejarz:
“Adrift.”

Kevan Ohtsji:
Yes. Kevin. SG-1 discovers that Nirrti has been conducting genetic experiments on humans to create an advanced host body for herself.

Kevin Weaver:
“Singularity.”

Kevan Ohtsji:
Anyone?

David Read:
“Metamorphosis.”

Kevan Ohtsji:
That is correct. David. The team discovers that Michael has been keeping Carson Beckett alive as a prisoner–

David Read:
“The Kindred.”

Kevan Ohtsji:
Yes, indeed. Correct. Jakub. When Sergeant Spencer is found dead on Destiny, Colonel Young suspects Rush of murder and abandons him on an alien planet.

Jakub Olejarz:
“Justice.”

Kevan Ohtsji:
Yes, indeed. You got it. Kevin. Sheppard’s team meets a civilization about to be destroyed by a super volcano, and is trapped there when the Stargate is destroyed during the invasion.

Kevin Weaver:
“Inferno.”

Kevan Ohtsji:
Yes, correct. David. Colonel Young’s opponents launch a coup to take control of the ship, pitting the military against civilians.

David Read:
What is it, guys?

Jakub Olejarz:
“Divided.”

David Read:
“Divided.”

Kevan Ohtsji:
Yes. Divide and conquer, I guess we could say.

David Read:
That’s another episode but yeah.

Kevan Ohtsji:
Is it? Wow.

David Read:
Oh yeah. A big one.

Kevan Ohtsji:
Jakub. The team discovers a young Wraith girl who has been raised by a human and is in hiding.

Jakub Olejarz:
“Instinct.”

Kevan Ohtsji:
Yes, you got it. Kevin. Facing certain death as Destiny heads toward a star, the crew holds a lottery to determine who will survive on a nearby planet.

David Read:
“Light.”

Kevan Ohtsji:
Yes.

David Read:
Originally “Fire.”

Kevan Ohtsji:
You even know the– Wow. David. A Puddle Jumper becomes lodged in the Stargate.

Kevin Weaver:
“Thirty-Eight Minutes.”

Kevan Ohtsji:
You got it. Correct. Jakub. Daniel is imprisoned on a world under the influence of the Ori, and the Prometheus is caught in a firefight when SG-1 tries to rescue him.

Jakub Olejarz:
“Ethon.”

Kevan Ohtsji:
Correct. Kevin. With the timeline changed by SG-1’s actions in the distant past, an alternate version of SG-1 must use the newly discovered time ship to set things right.

Kevin Weaver:
“Moebius.”

Kevan Ohtsji:
Bingo. David. Destiny encounters an ancient seeder ship which may hold the key to getting the crew home, but they soon find that the ship is not unoccupied.

David Read:
It’s not “Aftermath.” It’s not coming to me.

Jakub Olejarz:
“The Awakenings?”

Kevan Ohtsji:
That is correct, Jakub. This is your next question. O’Neill trains a group of young SGC recruits in a simulated foothold situation that tests their readiness for SG–

Jakub Olejarz:
“Proving Grounds.”

Kevan Ohtsji:
Correct. Kevin. Carter finds herself alone on the Prometheus after it’s attacked, and hallucinates conversations with her teammates to solve her predicament.

Kevin Weaver:
“Grace.”

Kevan Ohtsji:
Yes. David. Teal’c becomes trapped in the Stargate buffer.

David Read:
“48 Hours.”

Kevan Ohtsji:
Yes. You guys are– Wow, we just got a few more questions left. Jakub–

David Read:
How many are left?

Kevan Ohtsji:
Two, four, six, eight, nine.

David Read:
All right, let’s take it to the end.

Kevan Ohtsji:
Wow, you guys are rock and rolling through it. Jakub, on you. Here we go. SG-1 helps evacuate the Tok’ra base using a captured mothership while Carter attempts to destroy–

Jakub Olejarz:
“Exodus.”

Kevan Ohtsji:
Yes, correct. Kevin. The team meets Ke’ra, a woman with amnesia who may be the infamous Destroyer of Worlds, Linea.

Kevin Weaver:
“Past and Present.”

Kevan Ohtsji:
Yes. David. A mishap with the communication stones sends Colonel Young’s consciousness to an alien vessel.

David Read:
“Space.”

Kevan Ohtsji:
Yes. Jakub. Sheppard forms an unlikely alliance with a Wraith prisoner when they’re both left to die by Kolya’s forces.

Jakub Olejarz:
“Common Ground.”

Kevan Ohtsji:
Correct. Kevin. Earth finds itself threatened by something even larger than the Goa’uld when the team learns that an asteroid is on a collision course with the planet.

Kevin Weaver:
“Fail Safe.”

Kevan Ohtsji:
Yes. David. SG-1 encounters shape-shifting aliens who have been protecting a Salish tribe.

David Read:
“Spirits.”

Kevan Ohtsji:
Yes. Jakub. The team rescues the technologically advanced Tollan, who refuse to share technology with primitive cultures.

Jakub Olejarz:
“Enigma.”

Kevan Ohtsji:
Correct. Kevin. When an alien organism incapacitates Dr. Keller, the team seeks help from an old friend recently revived from stasis.

Kevin Weaver:
“The Seed.”

Kevan Ohtsji:
Yes. David, very last question. When Daniel Jackson visits Atlantis, he and Dr. McKay discover a hidden lab–

David Read:
“First Contact.”

Kevan Ohtsji:
Yes.

David Read:
Wow, guys.

Kevan Ohtsji:
My goodness.

David Read:
Kevan … Ohtsji.

Kevan Ohtsji:
It’s all good.

David Read:
It’s like, “Wait, wait. Olejarz. Ohtsji. Weaver. Kevin. Kevan… I gotta–”

Kevan Ohtsji:
David, I’m impressed you could pronounce my last name. Wow, that’s amazing.

David Read:
Once it goes in, it doesn’t go out, except for apparently episode names. So, just saying. This was great, sir. Thank you so much. You did a great job.

Kevan Ohtsji:
My absolute pleasure, absolutely.

David Read:
You blew through 100 of these.

Kevan Ohtsji:
I can’t believe how quickly you… Wow. Episode titles. I can remember episodes, but not the names. In 10 seconds?

David Read:
Yeah.

Kevan Ohtsji:
Wow.

David Read:
Jakub, you won by a mile, buddy. Well done.

Jakub Olejarz:
Yay.

Yvie Cahill:
Undisputed champion.

David Read:
Yes, most definitely, guys. So, you guys have any questions for Kevan before we let him go?

Jakub Olejarz:
I had a very quick one. The light … is it sunny in Vancouver? Is it just the lights?

Kevan Ohtsji:
It’s kinda cloudy, a little damp, the typical stuff that, hey, it makes the grass green and the trees grow and all that fun stuff in spring and summer.

David Read:
Fair enough.

Jakub Olejarz:
Thank you for coming in and hosting the show.

Kevan Ohtsji:
Hey, my absolute pleasure.

Jakub Olejarz:
Real pleasure.

Kevan Ohtsji:
Absolute pleasure. David and Darren, congratulations.

David Read:
The announcement.

Kevan Ohtsji:
What a wonderful announcement.

David Read:
That was a treat.

Kevan Ohtsji:
Martin, Brad, and Joe… The way that it was done, to me, it speaks volumes to their character and integrity. And big congratulations, obviously, to yourself and Darren for all that you’ve done. And to everyone, big congratulations. Should be very exciting.

David Read:
Jeremy and Yvie, you guys wanna come in real quick?

Kevin Weaver:
Quick question. Do you have anything coming up that we could see you in?

Kevan Ohtsji:
I do, but it’s… We have to sign non-disclosure agreements. I never know– I normally don’t talk about anything till it’s out. That’s my thing. Gotta honor our agreements. I can say, a couple episodes of a returning Netflix show, and also a few episodes of Season Three of a regular TV show. Both have been very enjoyable characters for myself to play. Much like Oshu with conflicting kind of– So yeah, there’s some stuff but I won’t speak about it.

David Read:
No, of course not.

Kevin Weaver:
We’ll keep an eye out.

Yvie Cahill:
We look forward to seeing you on Netflix soon.

Kevan Ohtsji:
Thank you very much.

David Read:
It’s been a treat to have you back.

Kevan Ohtsji:
Thank you for having me.

David Read:
Absolutely. All right, guys, I’m gonna go ahead and wrap up the show on this side. Kevan, if you have to split now, I understand. But I will be right back with all of you here. Give me a second to figure this out real quick while I try to… Come on, guys, what’s this one doing? Is this it? This is it? OK, sweet, here we go. All right, I’ll do this number here and we’ll call it even, everyone. All right. That was Stargate Trivia 13, and thank you, Kevan Ohstji, for making that possible. My name is David Read, you’re watching the Stargate Oral History Project. We have a few live shows coming up this coming week and then we are wrapping for the rest of Season Five. I have a couple pre-recorded that I’m trying to hammer out the details for right now. That means editing time, getting down to a bit of a crunch, but that’s what we’ve got. My tremendous thanks to my moderating team and my producers, a couple of whom are in here right now. My moderators Antony, Jeremy, Kevin, Lockwatcher, Marcia, Raj, Jakub, Enigma, and Stephen, appreciate you guys so much. My production team, Antony Rawling, Kevin Weaver, Sommer Roy, and Brice Ors. William Murphy, he’s also helping out with some stuff right now. Thanks to Matt “EagleSG” Wilson for the Al’kesh opening sequence in this episode. It was only appropriate, we had a Jaffa on, so let’s bring in the Al’kesh. And to Frederick Marcoux at Concepts Web, who’s actually in the other room right now figuring some stuff out for me. He keeps dialthegate.com up and running. Appreciate all of you for making this work. If you enjoyed the episode, click the like button, and if you subscribe and click the bell icon you’ll get notifications of any upcoming guest changes or last-minute changes like that. That’s what we’ve got. So, keep an eye on dialthegate.com for all the upcoming details of the forthcoming episodes. My name is David Read, I appreciate you tuning in, and I’ll see you on the other side.